BY: CHARDEE SNEED
First dates can make or break your self-esteem. Nothing can be more heart-wrenching than building someone up in your head, only realize that this person (with whom had already picked out honeymoons destinations with in your mind) is a total disappointment at the end of the day. Even worse is realizing they don’t reciprocate the same level of interest or feelings in you.
As stressful as the process of finding love is however, giving love a shot is the only way you’ll ever know if the other person is the right one. When you find yourself heading into a first date, don’t forget to always put your best foot forward and remember these first date rules while you’re at it!
A smile is your best accessory.
From lowering stress and anxiety, to releasing endorphins, smiling has a huge effect on how people react to and perceive us. Even if you don’t think your smile is your best asset, your date just might! Humans in general, are more attracted to smiling individuals because that person is assumed to be more friendly and welcoming than any individual that isn’t.
Chapstick is your best friend.
If all goes well, you and your date should be having easy and flowing conversations about life aspirations and other topics relevant to your life. With all this chatter however, it’s easy to build up dry lips. Thus, make sure you go to your local drugstore and invest in a lip moisturizer or chapstick that will keep your lips looking plump and soft!
Keep in mind that there’s only one you.
I know you’re thinking “duh!” But hear me out. Have you ever felt self-doubt before an interview? The same thing is likely to occur when you go on a date. Performance anxiety is normal but it’s true that some of us are better at handling this than others. Since there’s only ONE you however, just remember that you already have all that you need to charm your date. Nothing screams confidence more than person who knows themselves and is not afraid to let the best parts of them shine. So if you have a talent, volunteer, write poetry or have a large collection of comic books, don’t be afraid to share what makes you you! If your date seems turned off, then you will automatically know if any future dates will be a waste of time or not.
Yoga pants are not a fashion statement.
Not putting any amount of effort into your date night outfit is a very telling indicator how an individual will be like in the course of a relationship. Looking like you don’t care is a great way to make your date feel like you don’t want a second date with them and or that you’re too lazy, but it is not the route to follow if you want to leave them eager to see and get to know you better. Do yourself a favor and opt for clothing items that look like it took some planning on your part to put together, but also highlight your fashion sense. Being comfortable in what you wear doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t look attractive. Just save the yoga pants for yoga class.
Avoid “Ex” talk.
Try to avoid talking about anyone you have dated in your past or presently. 1st dates are to have fun and get to know the other person; they’re not for indulging in past relationships or people that have left your life. If your dates bring this topic up however, simply respond to their question politely and gear the conversation to another direction. Whatever you do, don’t bash your ex. Leaving the first date being labeled a “bitter ex” is not cute.
It’s okay to not pay.
If your man wants to take the lead and pay, then let him pay. It’s a good sign that he enjoyed your company and wants to treat you like you deserve to be treated (a queen)! Don’t let your inner feminist take this the wrong way and undervalue his show of affection.
Don’t overthink anything.
The chances of you falling in love at first sight are slim, so relax and just be you! Walk with your head held high, smile, and be happy to be sharing time with someone new. Before leaving your place, you can even try saying a few affirmations to to remind yourself of what a catch you are! If it’s meant to be, your night will naturally head in the right direction.
All in all, remember that you don’t need to place all expectations on one person. There are plenty of fish in the sea for you! In any first date, you won’t be able to control how another person feels or acts around you so simply focus on trying to have a good time. If it goes well, awesome! If it doesn’t, then trust that your Mr. Perfect is out there so there’s absolutely no need for you to settle for anything less than the best.